If you're wondering why I named this post what I did it's because I admire the shit out of Francis Coppola. Why? Okay, here's a little thing I want anyone who wants to be a filmmaker to do. I want you to look up production problems for Francis Coppola and then decide if filmmaking is the thing you want to do. If you can imagine a fat Marlon Brando showing up on set and feeling an intense urge to murder him, or find out that an actress got sick so use your daughter who is a terrible actress in her stead, or having typhoons destroy your set, or making a film simply because you're in debt up to your eye balls. Hell, I've heard the only film that ever went the way he wanted was Dracula. Then add on the fact that you were considered a great (even with fat drunken Marlon Brando making shit up on the spot) and now Hollywood simply pisses on you and longs for your early work. Yeah, if you can be okay with being Francis Coppola, then you are cut out to be a filmmaker.
Stop and consider this for a second. There were numerous directors that emerged in the 70s and were considered the greats because of their films. A few examples are Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Francis Ford Coppola. Out of those three, you know who is the only one not getting covered in piss? Spielberg. It's not because of the films he's churned because he's turned out some bullshit like the rest of them (I consider A.I. his Attack of the Clones or his Jack). No, the dude just knows how to play ball (mother f***er blamed Crystal Skull totally on Lucas, pretty much throwing him to the sharks that are Indiana Jones fanboys so as to avoid their wrath).
The last paragraph is not what I'm looking for. I'm not making a movie to become famous. Hell, I only want money to be able to provide for my family and make another movie. That's all I could ever ask for. I don't care about fame, I only care that there is some kid out there who, like me, tells his friends about the crazy movie he saw and they decide to check it out and fall in love with my films. Seriously, fame has nothing to do with why I'm doing this. If my actors get famous through me, I'm happy for them.
Now, onto the real reason I named this post what I did. I feel weird about this film right now; I mean Invisible Diary not Through the Devil's Eyes. I feel like I can taste the final stages but they also feel like they're a thousand miles away. I stopped talking to Lizzy about my film because she is under enough stress without having to worry about her boyfriend flipping his shit about the film he's working on. I have a thousand and one things running through my head. I find myself wishing this film was over so I could simply move on to the next one. I don't regret anything that's happened up to now. I get frustrated about stuff, yeah. It's mainly because sometimes I just want to talk to someone, I'm not seeking advice. I'm just wanting someone to listen to me as I work out the problems myself. It's the way I've always approached things. I'm happy right now. Granted, things aren't going the way they should but seeing how I've been working through everything myself up to now, I'm happy. I would possibly say I'm content but I'm not really. There's still this film out there that hasn't been completed and I'm not okay with that. I'm not okay with the world not seeing this film. I'm also not okay with people not seeing Through the Devil's Eyes but I'm still working on the script for that.
The whole point of this post is just to let you guys know one simple thing:
I'm Still In
and I don't think that's ever going to change.