Okay, so as any of you who watched the video below know, I have canceled production on No Tomorrow. Our indiegogo was a flop and there were more production problems than Killing Granny (it was another film we canceled, way before your time). So yeah, I've just been sitting on my butt buying things on Amazon with other people's money....
No, the truth is I've got TWO projects in development. If you work with me and haven't heard of them...well that's because you're not a part of them. That's right, we're making covert movies. Yes, I'm totally serious. I'm not letting anyone know what films we're making until they're already done.
So let's talk about anime. Weird transition, right? I guess it's just I want to bitch about something but am not really sure where to say the things I want to be said. Trust me, I do this a lot. I have a Sion Sono post that's been sitting in my drafts folder since January. I'll eventually finish it and post it but things have been rather hectic.
First off, I'm not REALLY into anime. Everyone thinks I am but trust me, I'm not. For example, my girlfriend watches WAY WAY more than I do. I've watched two series in full and am watching one series. The two I've watched in full are Death Note and Dragon Ball (including DBZ and the awful GT). The one I'm currently watching is One Piece.
And boy do I love One Piece. I'm only 200 episodes in and it's by far my favorite anime. Mainly because it shouldn't have ended with episode 25 but kept going and doesn't feel like a shameless cash grab. Okay, any anime fans reading this know that those were two stabs at the aforementioned animes. There's enough people on the planet that know Death Note shat the bed and that at least the live-action movie corrected it. Yes, I'm calling one of the most well known anime series a cash grab and that's what I'm going to talk about.
Okay, if you're worried about me spoiling a 30 year old anime, please stop reading now because I'm going to rip this bastard apart.
Did you know there's a new Dragon Ball movie? Yeah, it's about Freeza coming back from the dead. Do I care? Eh, kinda. Why? Because the last Dragon Ball movies were just complete bull shit and no one really cared. It was Toriyama using the hollow shells of his characters to put on shows. No one cared so he's decided to dig up our childhood memories and shat upon them.
I'm sorry, it comes across like I really hate Toriyama. I don't. I just hate how he keeps adding more to the Dragon Ball mythos. I'm going to say it right here to make it a public record, I hate the Boo saga. Why? Because it had so much potential but just became a rehash of crap we've seen before.
A villain who has different forms: Vegeta, Freeza, Cell
A villain who takes on other's abilities: Cell
A villain who absorbs people: Cell
Boo is seriously where I stopped watching the series in English when I was younger. I tried watching it in Japanese when I got older and it's still really boring. I can even make it through Great Saiyaman with no problems. Yes, it's silly but that's what I like about it.
Here's a history lesson. After Goku died to Cell, Toriyama planned on making the series about Gohan or Goten (I've heard two different accounts, I've also heard mention of after Freeza). That could have been really cool, especially if it returned to what Dragon Ball was originally about (finding dragon balls). You see, the series was originally about a little boy going on an adventure to find dragon balls (hence the name of the show), he would fight bad guys who wanted to use the dragon balls for nefarious purposes and enter the Tenkaichi Tournament every so often. Don't believe me? Check it:
So we start off meeting this little boy with a tail named Son Goku. He lives in the woods and one day this chick named Bulma drives up and is like "Yo, my radar tells me you have a dragon ball" and he's all "Nope, just my grandpa!" and he whips out a dragon ball. Bulma says "yeah, that's a dragon ball, wanna go on this epic quest?" and he's like "yeah, got nothing better to do. So they set off on this quest to find the other four dragon balls (because Bulma already has two others).
On this quest we meet a shapeshifting pig, a shapeshifting cat, a desert bandit, a perverted old man, and this girl who is in love with Goku. They find the dragon balls but this bad guy takes them and goes to make a wish to rule the world. The pig cuts him off and wishes for panties instead (yes, I'm serious). The bad guy traps them, Goku turns into a giant monkey and the day is saved. Goku leaves to go train with the perverted old man and meets this kid named Kuririn.
Kuririn and Goku train and end up going to the Tenkaichi tournament. They lose to a guy named Jackie Chun (who is the perverted old man in disguise) but have a lot of fun. Goku sets off to find his dragon ball (they scatter all over the world after a wish and are inactive for a year) and runs into a new group of bad guys. The bad guys are called The Red Ribbon Army and their leader wants to use the balls to get taller (it's a very silly show). Goku ruins their shit and makes a wish to bring back this kid's dad. He grabs his dragon ball and goes off to train alone for the next tournament.
Kuririn and the desert bandit (his name is Yamucha) go and train with the perverted old man and come back for the next tournament. At this tournament they meet two dudes: Tenshinhan (a dude with three eyes) and Chaozu (who looks like a mime). Tenshinhan wins the tournament and this is when things get nuts.
Kuririn is murdered by a servant of a guy named Piccolo Daimao (this evil monster who was stuffed into a rice cooker, he ends up using the dragon balls to become young again). Goku sets out to ruin Piccolo Daimao's shit but gets his ass kicked. He goes and trains with a cat and meets a fat samurai named Yajirobe (he's important later). Goku goes and punches a hole into Piccolo Daimao's chest and Piccolo Daimao spits out an egg. Goku's friends wish back Kuririn, the perverted old man, and Chaozu (because they died too but that's not important)
The egg becomes Piccolo Jr. but they just call him Piccolo. Meanwhile Goku goes to train with this old guy Kami-sama (which means god in Japanese). Kami-sama reveals he is actually Piccolo Daimao's other half and is good while Piccolo Daimao is evil (they are connected though so if one dies the other dies too). Piccolo grows up and goes to fight Goku at the world tournament three years later. Piccolo almost dies in this battle but Goku won't let him because if he dies the dragon balls will disappear (because Kami-sama created them).
Now it's revealed that Son Goku is actually an alien. His brother (Raditz) comes to recruit him to destroy the planet but Goku and Piccolo team up and kill him. Goku dies too and goes to train with Kaio-sama (he's a blue dude you train with in the afterlife). Piccolo tells Raditz about the dragon balls as he dies and Raditz says that two other aliens are on their way. Piccolo, Yamucha, Tenshinhan, and Chaozu begin training along with Goku's son, Gohan.
The aliens show up, ask about the dragon balls, kill Chaozu, Tenshinhan, Piccolo, and Yamucha. Then Goku shows up (because he was wished back). One of the aliens is killed by the other for being a pathetic waste of space. This brings us to an epic showdown: Vegeta (that's the alien's name) vs. Goku. Vegeta turns into a giant monkey and Goku regrets having his tail permanently removed.
They have a fight and Yajirobe (that fat samurai from earlier) cuts of Vegeta's tail. Kuririn and Gohan show up and beat on Vegeta (Goku is pretty much dead at this point) and Vegeta takes off in his spaceship. It's revealed that you cannot make the same wish on the dragon balls more than once because reasons so that means Chaozu is permanently out of the game (that's fine, he sucked anyway)
Bulma, Gohan, and Kuririn find out that this planet called Namek (which Kami-sama and Piccolo are from) has dragon balls. So they take off into space to find them. This is when we meet Freeza, this bad alien who holds Vegeta's leash. Freeza doesn't look like much but trust me, he's super strong. He's also looking for the dragon balls so he can wish for eternal life. Vegeta also shows up and is looking for them too.
Goku is all better now so he takes off into space too and decides to train while in space (he has a training spaceship, don't ask). So Freeza has almost all the dragon balls, Vegeta steals them, Kuririn and Gohan steal them from Vegeta, they get this Namekian kid named Dende to wish to the dragon for them. This dragon grants three wishes instead of the Earth dragon which only grants one. So they wish for Piccolo to be alive again, to be on planet Namek, and then the dragon balls' creator dies.
Freeza gets pissed off because of course he would. Goku and him fight. He beats up Piccolo, kills Vegeta, beats up Gohan and kills Kuririn. Remember what I said about the dragon only granting a wish once? Yeah...
Goku goes ape shit. He gets so mad his hair turns blonde and his eyes turn green. He kicks Freeza's ass into the next century. Meanwhile, on Earth, they gather the dragon balls and wish back everyone killed by Freeza and his goons. This brings back the creator of the Namekian dragon balls, Dende wishes everyone but Freeza and Goku off the planet and they fight it out. The planet blows up. The Namekian dragon balls don't care about rules so everyone is wished back. The End.
Did you notice a recurring theme there? If not, I'll tell you. Aside from Raditz, all the bad guys showed up looking for the DRAGON BALLS!!!!!!!! What's the name of the show? Dragon Ball. So it makes sense. Now, I'm going to tell you what happens next. What, you're surprised it goes on? What do you mean that ending sounds pretty epic and makes sense? No, of course it goes on. We need money.
So that thing Goku did where he got blonde hair and green eyes. Yeah, that's called going Super Saiyan. There's only two (two and a half if you count Gohan) Saiyans left in existence so imagine when Robo-Freeza comes to Earth to kill everyone and another Super Saiyan shows up. His name is Trunks and he's Vegeta and Bulma's future son. He kills Robo-Freeza, warns about some androids, and fucks off.
Goku and company train for the androids, fight them. Meet more androids, lose. Goku has a heart attack from all those carbs he eats (yeah, Goku eats A LOT) and this dude Cell shows up. Cell has everyone's powers and stuff. He announces a tournament. Fights Gohan (yeah, Goku's son) and dies. Yes, other stuff happens but that's the gist of it.
Did you notice anything different? What do you mean no dragon balls were mentioned? Who gives a crap? There are awesome fights.
Now these guys show up to resurrect some beast who is immortal and his name is Boo. He's going to destroy the planet and so everyone fights him. Goku kills him. The end.
Seriously, I don't want to discuss Boo. I've only watched it from beginning to end one time and even then I had to force myself to watch it. It's stupid and boring and no, the dragon balls don't really come back into play. It's just a boring end to a series that had so much promise.
I guess the reason I'm so pissed about them making a new DB movie is because it lost sight of what made the show so good in the first place. It wasn't the epic battles. It was the epic battles mixed with comedy, drama, storytelling, stakes. Something that was fading with Cell and completely gone with Boo. Boo had some funny bits but it's hard to care about it when there are no stakes. Everyone can die and be wished back the next day.
I like One Piece because it's about pirates looking for treasure and fighting other pirates. It's really cool. The thing I love the most is how much inspiration Oda (the creator) took from Dragon Ball. It's a well known fact that he really likes it and his series shows his love for Dragon Ball. Luffy is a lot like Goku and Zoro is like Piccolo Sanji is like the perverted old man. He has better fleshed out female characters though. Toriyama mainly used women for damsel in distress situations or for sex appeal while Oda makes them into their own characters with their own motives.
If you're into anime, I would suggest both of these shows (One Piece and Dragon Ball) because they are so similar and it shows how potential can easily be destroyed by money. I feel One Piece is a spiritual successor to Dragon Ball. While DB may continue to release movies, I'm going to just forget about them knowing that it's a hollow shell of what it used to be.