About an hour ago, I finished with the first day's shooting of Invisible Diary of a Disabled Man. I'm thinking that means three days to go but it may be four. I also need to set a day apart for Voice Over work and folly but I have shot one day. That means this film is finally on it's way! I am super excited! Well, I'm going to get some sleep and shoot again on Friday. I uploaded some pictures of Mark and Meghan in makeup and will take more pictures on Friday since I no longer feel so nervous. Mark and Meghan and Gregg were all a blast to work with. Yeah, sleep. I need it. But there's an update. Later.
I was gonna post a cast list on Friday but decided to hold off on it until today, the 28th. It's a good thing I did because one of the actors dropped out on me yesterday. By this point you'd think I would just go "Okay, that's fine, I'll find someone else." The problem is I begin shooting tomorrow. So I went Super Saiyan 4 last night and am still feeling about a Super Saiyan 1. I'm honestly trying to figure out what I'm going to do. I figure worse comes to worse, I can always shoot without Jake for a while. It's not what I want to do, but you never get what you want. At least wanted to drop this in.
I Think I'm Still In
UPDATE: So one of the other actors has agreed to take on the role of Jake. Now, I need to replace his character. Considering that I now have a week, this will be easier to work out. Good news is I have a Jake and I can still shoot tomorrow.
I could not come up with a better blog title for today, just because it seems SOOOOOOO perfect right now. I'm really happy and really excited for this film but I kinda feel aggravated at the same time. I may have found a Kristine! YAY! One Jake dropped out but found another to replace him. Need a pastor for Friday but not stressing too much about that (worse comes to worse, I can just ask a janitor at the church to do it). I am really freaking excited but also nervous as hell to shoot this thing. I'm afraid of looking like an ass in front of my actors.
However, I got an email today from one of the actors and they said they couldn't make rehearsals. The thing is, how they wrote it scared me a little (I thought they were dropping out). I wrote back telling them it's okay and originally thought they were dropping out, they said that they wouldn't do that to me after all I've been through. That was greatly appreciated, you guys have no idea. I got that email at work and the rest of the night my spirits were just high as a kite. I kinda felt like a weirdo at the one rehearsal we had but this comment made me think, "You know if everyone says, 'RJ Cusyk? Yeah, he's a weirdo but I really enjoy working with him.' I wouldn't care if everyone thinks I'm a weirdo or not." Seriously, tons of directors are more concerned with stupid stuff and forget their actors are people too and have people hate working with them.
Anyway, it's getting late and I should get some sleep. Later. Oh, one more thing...
I'm Still In.
Things are seriously all over the place. The young man playing Jake has had a family crisis come up so has had to drop out of the film again. Luckily, he gave me contact information for another actor. I'm going to be taking a look at him today and see what I think. I also have a Kristine becoming a possibility. Here's the thing, I've become a bit nostalgic the past couple days. Mainly in seeing where my film started and seeing what it's slowly becoming. Here's a brief history on Invisible Diary of a Disabled Man:
When I was 11 or 12 the Terri Schiavo case was kind of a big deal. I remembered hearing about a woman in the persistent vegetative state and wondered to myself how terrifying that must be to still be conscious of the world around you but not be able to tell anyone anything.
When I was 15, Mrs. Schiavo passed away and I was still rolling around in my head how utterly terrifying it would be. I was making monster movies with my friends and stop motion films by myself at the time so never really put much thought into a movie or anything about this.
When I was 18, I read a book about making short films. I had made short films all of my life but nothing worth any note. However, it then occurred to me to write a short script about the human vegetative idea that I'd been rolling around in my head.
When I was 19, I was in technical college trying to get a degree for something to fall back on. However, I was continuing to try and get the film together. Any film, really. I shot a few things (Zedward) but nothing that was ever finished because I also had a job and my friends had other things to do than sit around making a stupid zombie movie.
When I was 20, I had a lot going on in my life (becoming a father, going to college, working) and seriously kinda gave up on shooting Invisible Diary. I wrote a few short films but a lot of garbage in my life prevented me from really pushing forward with anything.
When I was 21, my life felt like it was in ruins so I turned to religion. I had been...agnostic or atheist for a long time and just felt like I was digging a deeper and deeper grave for myself. I rolled around in this circle for a while and shot video projects for them. However, I felt really depressed hanging out with these people. I didn't feel like myself around them and felt like a fake. I kept the belief I had gained there but dropped everything else (remember in the first post, I'm spiritual but not at all religious?).
Anyway, here I am 23 (24 next Saturday) and I'm finally getting this film together. A film that I never felt super serious about has easily become a film I am very passionate about. It's funny how things work that way. The current draft of Invisible Diary is not the version I wrote when I was 18. I've edited the script as I've grown older and feel that certain parts of me have matured. The overall story is still the same but I feel like Jake has changed. He's still the punk ass kid I wrote about when I was 18 but he's grown a bit with me.
If this film turns out to totally suck, then I wasn't meant to be a director and I apologize to all my actors in advance. However, if my film turns out to be something truly great, something that transcends time, then I've done my job. However, Kurosawa once said, "Movie directors, or should I say people who create things, are very greedy and they can never be satisfied...that's why they can keep on working. I've been able to work for so long because I think next time, I'll make something good." In short, I'll probably never be satisfied with my films. I'm always going to be a junkie looking for his next fix. If anyone ever wants to quote me in the future, you're more than welcome to use that.
At the end of a day, no matter how terrible or how great, the only thing that truly matters is...
I'm Still In.
I was gonna post this earlier but I have been busy trying to find the perfect way to record voices and the like for this film. Here's a random fact about me, I used to be in a band. Actually, three different bands. I did vocals for all three and had to buy a microphone to do said vocals during practice. I never want anyone asking me if I can sing because I did Death Metal vocals (I thought I sounded like Tim Lambesis but wanted to sound like John Henry). Anyway, this is all beside the point. My shotgun mic wasn't picking things up well for VO work and I remembered I had this mic so I decided to try it out and it has a really nice sound when recorded.
Oh, I forgot, the young man who was originally going to play Jake is back on the project. I also uploaded some photos for everyone to browse. Yes, I'm going to be uploading more when it comes time to start shooting. Well, there's my updates...I think. I'm tired so I'm gonna get some sleep but wanted to let you know about Jake.