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Star Wars, Nothing but Star Wars

7/12/2015

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I think I've posted before but I can't remember but I'm not really interested in seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It's not because I hate the sequel, prequel, reboot shitting machine that is Disney. Because I don't. Disney exists in its world and I exist in mine. The only time they coincide is when I go to Disneyland (which is once a century). Heck, I don't mind them buying Marvel or Lucasfilm because I stopped reading Marvel when I turned 18 and well...I've never really cared about Lucasfilm.

Star Wars? What's that? No, I'm fully aware of what Star Wars is. They just have never really turned me on the way they seem to turn on most people. I'm serious. The original trilogy is cool and I like to watch it every once in a while, but I've never really been in love with Star Wars. The universe behind Star Wars, hell yes, but not the movies.

See the thing is, Star Wars: A New Hope is kinda like A Final Hit in that they were both made by no name directors who mainly wanted to pay homage to the directors and things that inspired them (what a coincidence, Leone and Kurosawa inspired both of us too). However, Lucas was much more creative with what he did than what I did with my movie. His direction was weak (especially for a third feature) but no one really seemed to care because they had never seen anything like it before in their lives.

Enough history lesson. My problem with The Force Awakens is...well I don't know. I guess for me it ultimately feels like a fan film. They have another Death Star apparently. Luke may or may not be Palpatine's successor (I would freaking love it if he is). Mini-R2 is there and everyone finds it adorable. Qui Gon Jinn, I'm sorry, Kylo Ren is apparently Max Landis starting a Darth Vader cult. Oh and Han and Leia are back because JJ Abrams needed to make a Star Wars film.

Look, I don't care about any of that really. I'm just really baffled as to why they made ANOTHER Death Star. Why? I'm sorry, maybe I don't understand how Star Wars works. I thought it was about Luke's rise to power (or Anakin's rise, fall and rise again if you count the prequels). It just sort of feels like Disney took a survey about what should be in a Star Wars movie and Death Star was on the list for some reason.

I'm sorry but the Death Star sucked in both A New Hope and Return of the Jedi. It's just dumb. The laser load times are either current age wi-fi or '95 dial up modem. I have always hated the Death Star. You know in Return of the Jedi when they fly in and take on the Death Star 2: The Quickening? I always find myself doing chores during that part. In A New Hope, it's cool and really effective. It's just in Jedi, I'm just so invested if Luke will turn to the dark side like his dad that the stupid Death Star battle feels like filler. Actually, you know what? If Star Wars was an anime the second Death Star battle is the screaming from Dragon Ball Z.

As I was saying, I just feel like some survey said Death Star because, "it was in the good Star Wars films."

Wait just a bloody minute. Empire Strikes Back didn't have a Death Star and you know what? That is the best film of the original trilogy. We find out Luke is Vader's father...wait, scratch that, reverse it. Luke seems to have a more character than simply farm boy on an adventure; he's more mature and likable. The bad ass Han Solo is frozen, forcing Luke to face his demons.

​People often criticize the ending saying it's too bleak and depressing. Do you criticize Rocky for the same thing? What's Rocky about? It's about a boxer training to win a big fight and losing. What's Empire about? It's about a Jedi training for a big battle and losing.

Granted, Apollo isn't evil but what evil crap have we really seen Vader do? Blowing up Alderaan? I guess, but look at it from his standpoint. You're the lap dog for the dude who rules the galaxy and the rebels have stolen the plans telling how to blow up his planet destroying ship (used to keep those rebels in line). You capture the Princess, who had the plans, interrogate her, she doesn't talk, so you have no choice but to blow up her planet.

Okay, so bad analogy.

My point is this, we don't need another Death Star. We've had two already and they were both dumb. Even though I'm not a Star Wars fan, I would love to visit that universe again because it's cool. The prequels have a lot of dumb parts but I do really like the galaxy far, far away. I'm just asking for no fan films. If I wanted a fan film, I'd turn to Adi Shankar because he makes some pretty awesome ones.

That's about it. I doubt that I really accomplished anything with this post but hey, if you didn't like it just watch these two short films by Adi Shankar that I really like. If you've already seen those, maybe you should check out my movies (listed in the filmography tab).
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