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I Don't Like Mayonnaise

8/6/2021

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​I know that I'm going to get a lot of crap for this. I'm a nobody who's attacking a giant YouTuber with an aggressive fanbase. Oh well, I've grown tired of living anyway.
​I do not like CinemaSins. I used to. You know, back before Jeremy started pushing political ideologies on a guy who really couldn't care less. However, in recent years, I have really begun to despise these cretins. Do you remember that movie Scare Package that I talked about a while ago? There was a line Joe Bob says to the video store guy, "it's people like you who have ruined film criticism." Or something to that extent. That's basically how I would describe CinemaSins. They have given birth to these lunkheads who now criticize movies like my dad. "Get out, that wouldn't happen in real life." Yeah dad, it's a movie. I love my dad but the man watches giant shark movies and then complains about realism. Choose a lane!

I know that I have been guilty of nit-picking movies in the past. Heck, this is Demise of Film, I'm pretty sure that's what we were known for at one point. That and accidentally putting James Cameron as director on The Thing. I'm sorry people, I was burning myself out! Still, there are a lot of movie critics who have sprouted out of CinemaSins and now just tear every film down. I'd really love to see these guys watch something like Wild at Heart or Eraserhead. Not all movies are made for everyone. Well, that's at least something that used to be true. Nowadays movies seem to be made my a committee and not people that genuinely love movies.

Some movies are just meant to be weird. They're meant to screw with your head. Not everything needs to be 100% realistic. Not everyone is supposed to be a tragic hero. Sometimes villains can just be villains. I truly hate modern film criticism and what it has devolved into. If I was more renown, I'd say that maybe I had something to do with it. Some plot holes are okay. As long as they're not gaping like goatse, I'd say they're fine.
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I don't even think this is something that has only corrupted film criticism. It's also begun to penetrate video games. It's almost as if things are not allowed to be cheesy any more. I love cheesy. I never once played Devil May Cry and thought the "fill your dark soul with light" line was bad. I seriously sat there and was like, "you know what, I gotta kill Mundus." I did know the Resident Evil voice acting was bad though. "What IS it?" That's the thing though. Resident Evil had bad acting but Devil May Cry had cheesy dialogue. It sort of feels like these two things have been confused.

Ultimately, we need to stop taking art so seriously. It is supposed to be exaggerated. It's not supposed to 100% reflect real life. It's okay for things to be cheesy and it's okay to like those cheesy things. It's okay for a guy to use his blood as a jetpack and fly around the room. Art is meant to distract us from our mundane, boring lives; not remind us of how much it sucks.
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