My Letter to Kevin Smith

Dear Kevin Smith,

​Can you please stop making movies? I recently watched Jay and Silent Bob Reboot on Amazon Prime and it was the worst thing I've seen in a while. I only watched it because I had a 30 Day Free Trial of Prime and figured "eh, I got nothing better to do at 1 in the morning on a Saturday." It wasn't funny and every joke made me cringe hard in my seat. Then at the end when you tried bringing in politics, you just proved how out of touch you are. I liked your movies in the beginning because you seemed like an average dude just wanting to make movies. Somewhere along the way you forgot that about yourself and just tried appearing like you were an average guy whilst living in your mansion. "How do you do fellow working class?"

Does this look fun? No? Because it's not!

​All honesty, I started disliking you around the time you did Clerks 2. I remember hearing on the commentary track that the only reason you made the movie was because you needed money. Look, I can appreciate the hustle, it's literally the only reason I have any respect for Belle Delphine. However, you really should have made something that you actually wanted to make. Have I made sequels? You bet your ass that I have! My sequel was based more on wanting to give work to my friend and simultaneously tell a story that I wanted to tell.

You just don't seem to WANT to make movies anymore. You just come up with stupid pot fueled shadows of ideas and decide to makes movies out of that. By the way, lay off the weed. I've seen your interviews, you only started smoking pot recently and your work has seriously suffered for it. Your jokes don't land and your plots don't have any semblance of thought poured into them.

I don't hate the fact you put your daughter in your movies. Do I think she should be lead? No! However, as a father and filmmaker, I understand. I'm writing this letter more out of love than out of spite. I just want you to make projects that YOU genuinely care about. I've said in the past that Jersey Girl is where you sold out but it's also the last film that seemed to have any passion poured into it.

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot had absolutely no passion in it and felt more like you were catering to people's nostalgia. "Remember Dogma?"​ "Remember Clerks?" "Remember Chasing Amy?"

Remember when you made good movies? Remember when you didn't need to pour out your anger on your fanbase and critics in your films? Seriously, so much of this film felt passive-aggressive. "Screw you Southwest for not letting me fly! Screw you fanbase who says that my daughter sucks! Screw you Jeff Anderson!"

By the way, I didn't see Jeff Anderson in the credits when you showed the cast of Clerks. What's going on with that guy?

Tonight on Unsolved Mysteries: What Happened to Randal Graves?

​I know that you're probably never going to read this. However, I also know that you tend to look yourself up a lot, so who knows? I just wanted to encourage you to stop making movies until you come up with an idea that you can't live without seeing it come to fruition. I know that there is still some good in you. However, you need to turn away from the Dark Side.