Help, Help, I'm Being Oppressed!
This needs to be said. Did you hear that Netflix is changing the rating system on their website? Coming in April they're going to be giving a thumbs up and thumbs down. Why? Because Amy Schumer did a bad comedy special. Wait, what? Let's see, NYT is blaming the Alt-Right, which I find absolutely hilarious. Look, if it was the Alt-Right, do you really think changing the rating system is going to help Amy Schumer? Look, none of that matters.
The sad thing is people are afraid of negative ratings lately. Kevin Smith went out a few years ago and said crap about critics. It's like everyone is living in this fucked up little world where everything is hunky dory. Don't believe me? Just google removing negative reviews. Why is this a thing? Why don't you listen to your detractors and see if they possibly have something to say that you could change to be more appealing?
Look, maybe it's because I'm adult and not a child, but I don't throw fits about negative reviews. I've had Battle Royale with Cheese rip me a new ass hole. I've also had Good Bad Flicks tear one of my films to shreds. Yet, here I am already telling them that I'm releasing a new film and I want both of them to review it. I'm not afraid of negative reviews because I'm much harsher to myself than they could ever be to me. Heck, I've even received a review on Amazon calling me out personally. It was pretty funny.
However, I would never hide these reviews because they're just people being honest. Honesty is something that seems to be missing from society. So many people pussyfoot around and don't say what they mean, I tell people exactly what I think of them. Sure, I get labeled a dick but we need dicks to go around and fuck all these pussies and assholes plaguing the planet right now (Team America reference).
Nothing you will ever say will ever bring me down. It's not because I'm beautiful. It's because I've already told myself worse than anything you can ever tell me.
I want to close this off by addressing our fans: Michelle, Keith, Blaine, Jack, Austin, Jason, Marco, and anyone who I don't know the name of. I want you to know that I love all of you and am so grateful for the support. However, I don't ever want any of you attacking my critics. They are the people that hate me but they're also the people that agree with how much I suck and make me want to better myself. If one day my critics side with me, I'll have to find new people to tear me apart.
That is the point of negative reviews. It's to tell you: "Hey, you messed up here." It's so you can fix it next time. It's not for you to act like a child and take your toys away. To all my detractors: I love you too because you're helping me grow. I may never be the next Kurosawa but your criticisms allow me to take the next step forward.
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